Crime never looked so aged, or at least that's the gimmick behind Mad Money, a crime thriller that aims low and achieves its objective. The film follows Bridget Cardigan (played by an always dopey Diane Keaton) who is shocked to learn that she might lose her home and her entire upper class lifestyle, because of her husband's lay off. (Her husband is played forgettably by Ted Danson, which i suppose was the point) Her husband Don cannot find work and so Bridget tries to find a job the old fashioned way--only to discover that she doesn't have too many marketable skills, despite having an English Literature degree. She is informed of this bad news via discriminatory condescension from, ironically, a black woman. Funny in the ironic sense, not so much ha-ha. Finally, Bridget lands a job at the Federal Reserve Bank where she meets matron mama Nina (played ever so subtly by Queen Latifah) and Jackie (played by Miss Tommy, Katie Holmes) a free spirit who may or may not be on drugs.

Bridget notices that the bank shreds over a million dollars a day. This is when Bridget decides she must fight the man and even out the score by stealing the money that no one will miss. She convinces Jackie quite easily, while Queen Latifah is reluctant at first, being a cynical single mom with a lot to lose. Eventually, the three women join forces and devise a plan to smuggle the currency out of the airtight Federal Reserve.

You can probably guess how the second act begins and how the third act ends. Even if you could forgive the film's predictability, you can't quite overlook the ineptitude of the screenplay and the performances. The screenplay is ignorant and never takes itself seriously beyond some manufactured girl-to-girl gibberish. It's almost as if the writer or director didn't have the guts to make this a real MILF Fiction thriller and insisted on painting its criminal antagonists as sympathetic, almost feminist caricatures. This is the First Wives Gang--a movie shy enough to put Diane Keaton in the role of villainous-misunderstood hero. Diane Keaton's exuberance to humiliate herself in her twilight years has gone from charming to scary, and she continues to avoid any challenging character arcs in favor of playing peppy grandma. Queen Latifah continues to prove herself as a very overrated talent--she only works if a director knows how to use her. Unfortunately, director Callie Khouri has fallen a long way from her creative peak with Thelma and Louise's script. The only pleasant sound in the movie is delivered by Katie Holmes who plays Jackie effectively wigged out, if not all that convincing as a bank robber. Katie Holmes reminds us that she was one of the more talented actresses of her age group, long before her mind was mashed and her body baby-fied.

It's a shame Mad Money didn't aim higher by reaching into more lower life characters. I never bought the misguided mom premise and the weak script didn't do the production any favors. I'd say Mad Money deserves more than a slap on the wrist. Lock her up until she starts flying right. Grade: D