On the eve of the Ohio and Texas primaries, contests which will decide the very fate of Clinton for President 2008, Hillary Clinton was able to announce the endorsement of a half-dozen key military figures and public personalities.

The sextet, certain to act as a highly influential bunch in today's primaries and the remainder of the race beyond, includes Guantanamo Bay veteran Col. Nathan R. Jessep, Los Angeles detective Jake Gittes, author Jack Torrance, high-profile psychopathic Jack Napier (a.k.a. Joe Kerr, a.k.a. that perfidious clown prince of crime, The Joker), blue-collar worker Robert Dupea, and three-time Academy Award winner Jack Nicholson.

Unfortunately for the struggling Clinton campaign, these endorsements also appear to come with some controversy, as it turns out that Jessep and Torrance, together with author Melvin Udall and millionaire philanthropist Daryl Van Horne, have already appeared in a pro-Barack Obama ad as well.

And while those super delegates from the state of Nicholson are sorted today, both Democratic campaigns eagerly await word as to the endorsement of former US president James Dale.

Impended Republican nominee John McCain responded to the latest news by again taking a bit of a potshot at his would-be competition: "Son, we live in a world that has walls and those walls need to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? Her? Barack Obama? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom." McCain went on to categorically deny his involvement in any "code red."