To think that we in non-scientific walks of life could get arrested for this kind of thing...

Proving that slow news days exist even in the natural world, LiveScience.com is running as lead story a titillating tale entitled "Seal Tries Sex with Penguin."

Quickly, ahem, putting the "discovery" into a, as it were, scientific context, the article goes on to state that

This seems to be the first known example of a sexual escapade between a mammal and another kind of vertebrate such as a bird, reptile or fish, "although some mammals are known to have attempted sexual relief with inanimate -- including dead things -- objects," said researcher Nico de Bruyn, a mammal ecologist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa.

Charles Q. Choi (if that is his real name) then tries his hand at same colorful prose, sparing no detail in imparting the attempted would-be conquest in romantic Marion Island off the coast of Antarctica between the shameless 240-pound polygynous fur seal and an unfortunate king penguin. MPR will leave the enjoyment of discovering Choi's prose all to the reader.

The good news: "The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury." The amusing news: "The scientists detailed their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Ethology." The bad news: De Bruyn and company probably received or will receive utter unjustifiable funding for this, um, wankery.

Ah well, all in the name of science, right? Oh, and mindless internet video watching.