MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!

[clang]
Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

BARACK OBAMA: Here's one - the Clinton for President 2008 campaign.

HILLARY CLINTON: I'm not dead!

MORTICIAN: What?

BARACK OBAMA: Nothing - here's my victory speech.

HILLARY CLINTON: I'm not dead!

MORTICIAN: She says she's not dead!

BARACK OBAMA: Yes, she is.

HILLARY CLINTON: I'm not!

MORTICIAN: She isn't.

BARACK OBAMA: Well, she will be soon, he's very ill.

HILLARY CLINTON: I won in South Dakota! I'm getting better!

BARACK OBAMA: No, you're not - you'll be stone dead by the weekend.

MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that - it's against the democratic process.

HILLARY CLINTON: I don't want to be a footnote in history!

BARACK OBAMA: Oh, don't be such a baby.

MORTICIAN: I can't take her...

HILLARY CLINTON: I feel fine! I've gotten more primary-season votes than any candidate in history!

BARACK OBAMA: Oh, do us a favor...

MORTICIAN: I can't.

BARACK OBAMA: Well, can you hang around a couple of days? She won't be long, just a few formalities...

MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on over to the GOP - McCain's killing off staffers like there's no tomorrow - they've lost nine today.

BARACK OBAMA: Well, when is your next round?

MORTICIAN: November.

HILLARY CLINTON: I think I'll state my case for the vice presidency.

BARACK OBAMA: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?

HILLARY CLINTON: I could be an asset ... I'll bring Baby Boomers to the ticket...

[US Representative/superdelegate James Clyburn (D-S.C.) sneaks up and wallops Clinton on the head with his Obama endorsement, killing off the stubborn candidate.]

BARACK OBAMA: Ah, thanks very much.

MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you in November.

BARACK OBAMA: Right.

Mostly culled from those great political analysts, Monty Python and the Flying Circus. And now for something completely different...